Kyle to the Future
by CelcoLevi
Summary: After Cartman convinces Kyle that he is letting himself go badly, Kyle attempts to get back at him by comparing an adult stranger who looks just like Cartman and follow him around until they make a shocking discovery, the man is Cartman's future self.
1. Into thin hair

It is summer time, and day. The South Park pool was open and it was quiet and hot.

Suddenly, Johnny B. Goode starts playing in the background and Kids stampede to the pool. As they did, Butters Stotch was having trouble getting in to pool, the 6th graders were sitting on each other's shoulders to fight each other and see who can stand the longest, Stan and Wendy were just splashing each other and Cartman was floating in the pool by himself since he was buoyant enough to do it, he rearranged himself to be upwards in the pool.

"Heeey! The water's warm in here!" he said, he saw kindergartners swimming past him

"Aw dude Lame!" he said in embarrassment and disgust.

* * *

><p>The Boys went to the store, Cartman felt embarrassed from the pool.<p>

"Uhh! That was the worst pool party I have ever had!" Cartman complained

"Hey, someone's hair's on the floor!" Stan pointed out, picking up a hair from the floor behind Kyle

"Hey, that's my hair!" Kyle said

"It is?" Stan asked, Kyle took off his hat and saw that his hair was messed up, or to be precise, there were hairs sticking out of his Jew fro… and one fell out

"Oh god!" Kyle exclaimed

"Sweet!" Cartman said taking a photo of the single hair

"You guys… You think I'm becoming bald?"

"What? No! That's bullshit! You've got the most hair in school! Well, for a guy" Stan reassured, Kyle put his hat back on

"Hey, want me to nonassure you?" Cartman asked

"No!" Kyle said automatically

"Too bad!" Cartman said, he pulled Kyle's top up to reveal his belly, which flopped over his tracksuit pants.

"Heheha! Kyle's getting fat!" Cartman mocked. Kyle punched Cartman's belly, only for Cartman to barely flinch.

"Nice try Kyle, but that's like the opposite of my weak spot!" Cartman pointed, Kyle punched him in the face, getting a reaction out Cartman

"Ow ow ow! Okay that hurt!" Cartman exclaimed, Kyle pulled his shirt back down.

"Nobody is going to make me feel old! I'm only ten and just because I've lost hair and I've gained a few pounds does not mean that I'm like, losing myself and will gradually die" Kyle exclaimed

"Ahh relax Jew fish! At least you still have your ass!" Cartman reassured

"Oh no! My ass!" Kyle ran home


	2. Awkward Fat Test and gay doctor

Kyle burst in to his house and ran up the stairs, he measured himself a little and ran to his father who was washing the dishes.

"Hey dad, Can I go get a check-up?" Kyle asked

"What kind?" Gerald asked, still washing the dishes

"I don't know, just get me a fat doctor" Kyle requested.

* * *

><p>When they arrived at Hells pass hospital, Kyle was with Dr Snocks<p>

"Okay, so you think you're getting fat?" he said

"Yeah" Kyle said, with his eyes down to the ground

"Okay, well I want you to step on this weight pressure pad" he said, Kyle stood on the pad and looked at his weight. The sensor gave no number but instead gave the words "lose a little".

"Is that bad?" Kyle asked

"You tell me!" Dr Snocks said

* * *

><p>"Okay now I want you to take off your shirt" Dr Snocks asked<p>

"…Okay?" Kyle agreed and took off his shirt, Dr Snocks examined him

"Yeah… I'm gonna have to ask you to take off your pants" Doctor asked, Kyle took those off as well

"You might as well get me to take off my underwear as well!" Kyle complained

"What? Oh god no! I just need to slap your belly!" Dr Snocks reassured

"Okay, now my hands are too big for your tiny belly so I'll have to call my Nephew in, I just to let you know, he's little unusual …He's homosexual" Dr Snocks admitted

"Jim!" he called

"Hello Uncle Toby!" Jim called back in a doctor outfit

"Well aren't you just the cutest doctor ever!" Dr Snocks complimented

"Okaay, so we got ourselves a patient!" Jim said, Kyle covered himself

"Oh, get those hands off your chest and up into the air" Jim commanded, Kyle did as he said.

"Uh Jim, I want you to slap this kid's belly and measure how long it takes to stop" Dr Snocks gave Jim a stopwatch, Jim pinched Kyle's belly.

"Okay, now I want you stand perfectly still, and the slapping begins in 3…2…1…Slap off!" Jim slapped Kyle's belly and it took a mere 0.6 seconds

"Tut tut tut, Yeah… we're gonna have to sort that out" Jim said

* * *

><p>Next was a reaction test<p>

"Okay, now I'm going to use this rubber hammer to tap your knee and see how long it takes for you to move" Dr Snocks said

"Yeah yeah yeah, just hit me" Kyle demanded, Dr Snocks hit his knee, and it took about 0.5 seconds.

"Okay" Jim said, writing on his notebook

2 Hours later…

"You're pretty healthy but you should do some exercise to get rid of that belly fat" Dr Snocks asked

**I apologize if this is bad writing, I'm just pulling it outta my ass, wait until we actually see Future Cartman, then it will get good**


	3. How do you know my name?

Kyle was running down the street in a singlet… for exercise of course.

"Hey Kyle!" Cartman called to Kyle in front of him.

"Shut up Cartman!" Kyle snapped at him.

"So, how'd your doctor's appointment go?" Cartman began following him.

"The doctor said I should 'lose a little'" Kyle said.

"What the hell does that even mean?" He furthered.

* * *

><p>The boys were in the same store, Cartman was in a towel this time.<p>

"Another Pool Party ruined!" Cartman complained

"You know, there are a lot of people that look like you" Kyle said.

"What does that have to do with the pool party?" Cartman asked.

"Oh nothing, just about what did to me earlier!" Kyle jabbed.

"Oh come on Kyle! That was yesterday!" Cartman said

"Still, I mean look at that guy over there!" Kyle said, pointing to a guy who had reddish brown hair and was about 2 metres wide.

"I'm gonna follow him" Kyle said before walking over beside to get something.

"Aww, Kyle!" Cartman went after him.

"…Oh what the hell!" Stan said before he and Kenny walked after him.

The boys started to look for things in the shelf, the fat man looked at them in surprise. Kyle noticed he was staring at them.

"What are you looking at?" Kyle snarled

"Is your name…Kyle Broflovski?" the man asked, he had a rough voice and southern accent, Kyle was confused

"…How do you know my name?" Kyle asked

The man just walked backwards and fell back into a trolley, the trolley rolled outside the glass wall, and the man rolled through the parking lot, into the traffic and got hit by a car.

"OH! THAT'S GONNA COST ME!" the man said.

"Dude, Jesus!" Kyle exclaimed

"Oh my god, is he alright?!" Stan exclaimed as well

"Probably not!" Cartman also exclaimed

The boys dropped everything and ran through the hole in the wall to check out the fat guy

**Okay you guys, this is where the story gets good. and by the way, There professionals out there who have made the first part of a story sound a little forced**


	4. You were born in 2005?

Hells Pass Hospital…

The fat man was hospitalized immediately, after some surgery, he turned out okay. An hour after he laid in bed awake, the doctor came up with a device in his hand.

"Okay now you need to pay us since we fixed you, that'll be 11,500" the doctor said, the fat man moaned and paid his bills.

"I have question about your identity, uh, according to your driver's license, you were born in 2005 and your license was first issued in 2021. Is that correct?" the doctor asked.

"Uh… no, no of course not! Why would that be correct?" the man said.

"This is the real one" he said, pulling out a card, the doctor glanced at it and gave it back to him. There was knocking on door, a female nurse came in.

"Uh, Sir, there's some children out here to see you, I think one of them might be your son" the nurse said.

"I don't have a son… bring'em in" the man said, the boys came in.

"Aaah Crap!" he exclaimed.

"…Hey" Kyle said.

"Sorry about your leg, dude" he furthered.

"You don't need to apologize, Kyle" the fat man sighed.

"Oh yeah, How do you know my name?" Kyle asked, the man moaned again.

"Uh… Well, you've been on TV enough times for me know just about all your names" the man explained.

"I mean you with the poof ball hat, you're Stan, and you're Kenny and you're Eric, although you're better known as Cartman" the man pointed out, the boys were shocked.

"Holy shit, he's right!" Stan exclaimed.

"Wait a minute! I've never had my first name announced on public TV before! Dafuq?! Have you been spying on us?!" Cartman questioned, the man panicked.

"Oh who am I kidding? I'm can't hide this! Eric, I'm you!" the fat guy announced.

**Sorry if this felt a little half-assed with the medical things, I'm not the educated type. this is where the story starts getting good.**


	5. It's illegal to shop in the past

"What?" Cartman asked.

"That's right" the fat man said.

"Me from the future?" Cartman said.

"Yes, you from the future!" the man was getting frustrated now.

"…No, no no no no! How do I know you're not some asshole dressed up so you can scare me into being good?" Cartman asked.

"I'm not some guy dressed up, I'm you! I can prove it to you!" the man said.

"How?" Cartman asked.

"Alright… I know about that Tourette's Syndrome fraud" he said. Cartman was shocked.

"Dude, it is you! But how did you get here?" Cartman asked.

"Take a wild guess" Future Cartman said.

"Time Travel? They have Time Travel in the year 2045?" Cartman exclaimed.

"Yeah, they even give us manuals in case something goes wrong like, we run outta battery or we get separated from it somehow" Future Cartman said.

"But why do you have Driver's license that says you were born in 1975?" Stan asked, holding the license.

"What? Oh that's fake" Future Cartman said.

"This is the real one" Future Cartman said, pulling out his real one.

"Hey, you know that does kinda look like me!" Cartman exclaimed.

"Yep, Here is a photo of me on my wedding day" Future Cartman gave them a photo of himself in a suit taking a mirror selfie. The phone that Cartman was holding was a weird cross between an ellipse and a rectangle. Cartman himself had a mullet

"You have a wife?" Kyle asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, and kids too, my past self probably wants to meet them" Future Cartman enthused.

"Yeah, I do!" Cartman exclaimed.

"Wait, if you came here through Time Travel, where's your time machine?" Kyle asked.

"Oh that? It's right here" Future Cartman tapped the watch looking device on his arm.

"So how does it work?" Kyle asked.

"Well, did you ever watch that Movie, Back to the future? Because that's exactly what this machine does" Future Cartman said.

"The top one shows where you're going, the middle one shows what time it is now and the bottom one shows what time it was before you time travelled" Future Cartman explained, the three screens showed different times.

July 17 2045 1:25 PM

June 5 2015 3:10 PM

June 17 2045 1:24 PM

"Kewl!" Cartman said.

* * *

><p>Future Cartman wheeled himself outside of Hells Pass Hospital and got up to go behind the Hospital.<p>

"What are you doing?" Kyle asked.

"Going back to the future behind the hospital so no one except you will see me" Future Cartman answered.

"But you can't leave now, we have so many questions" Stan exclaimed.

"Like what?" Future Cartman stopped.

"Well, why did you travel back in time?" Stan asked.

"Well, in the Future, people like to travel to different times as well as different places, although you need a special license to get your hand on one of these babies and it costs $82,000" Future Cartman said.

"But that still doesn't quite answer my question, what was the purpose of coming here?" Stan asked.

"To buy some groceries, they're cheaper in 2015 than in the 40s, only 1 dollar per litre. In the future one litre costs 2 dollars" Future Cartman explained.

"Well, I guess things do get more and more expensive these days" Kyle said

"Yeah, also, it's illegal to buy things from the past unless it's something that you can't normally get in the 2045" Future Cartman explained.

"Oh!" Stan realized. Cartman walked away.

"But wait, why can't you go back to the 50s and and buy things? You pay for things in cents!" Stan exclaimed.

"Modern Credit Cards don't work in the 50s" Future Cartman answered.

"80s" Stan said

"Quality is declined" Future Cartman answered

"Well can we at least come with you?" Cartman pleaded

"No! It's illegal to bring someone to the future!" Future Cartman exclaimed, he stopped and tapped a button on his time machine and all that happened was a hologram flicker.

"Whoops, there goes my sperm!" Future Cartman pressed it again, but the boys grabbed on to his legs

"N-Nooo!" Future Cartman took them along with him

**See? I told you it would get better!**


	6. Welcome to the Future, buddy!

June 17 2045 1:24 PM

Future Cartman burst into existence; the boys were no longer with him.

"Aah crap! Well if I'm still here, that means I'm okay" Future Cartman reassured himself.

Meanwhile, the boys zapped into existence… in an ally. The boys fell on the floor; they got back and had a look at their surroundings.

"What the hell? Why are we in an ally? And where's Future Cartman?" Kyle asked.

"Hey look, that looks like Tweek's coffee store!" Stan pointed out to a building that looked an awful lot like Tweek bros, but had a few cracks in it and there were curves in the edges of the glass wall on the front of the store, an elderly couple walked out and put sign saying "Closed For Good"

"Well, that's the end of that dream" the elderly man said.

"Well at least they didn't take our money from us" the elderly woman said.

"Nice guys" the elderly man complimented. The two of them got into a weird looking car.

The boys walked out of the ally, they saw all sorts of things.

New shaped Cars, A Car painter that put blue walls on tyres, Automatic Petrol stations, (you know, robotic arms that put petrol in the cars) and motorized skateboards.

"I can't believe it, we're in the future!" Kyle exclaimed. Cartman looked over the road to see the cinema beside the Tweek Bros Coffee store; it was playing a classic, which was "Terrance and Philip: Asses of Fire" the classical film banned for 32 years. Cartman was drooling.

"Oh my god you guys! "Terrance and Philip: Asses of Fire" is playing!" Cartman said.

"Hey! Maybe we should watch it!" Kyle said.

"Maybe?! Only one day left! Let's go!" Cartman commanded. He ran across the road, a fast car almost hit him.

"Aye! I'm walkin' here!" Cartman exclaimed.

The boys followed him; they made it to the ticket salesman.

"Four tickets to the Terrance and Philip movie please!" Cartman demanded, putting coins on the counter.

"What are these?" the man asked

"Coins" Cartman said

"Uh, sorry, we don't take coins" the man said

"What?! Why not?!" Cartman exclaimed

"Well, coins are just… obsolete. In fact, where did you get those coins anyway?" the man asked

"Uh… my father gave it to me to… spend?" Cartman said

"Kid, you don't pay with coins. You can turn them into credit card money but that's it, it's like paying for things with gold… actually that's what it is" the man explained

"God damnit!" Cartman yelled in anger

The boys walked off

"Well, I guess we can always rent the movie when we go back to the past" Stan said, trying to calm Cartman down

"Shut up Stan! That's different!" Cartman yelled

Kyle spotted a sign simply saying "2010"

"Hey, there's a café designed to look like the 2010s" Kyle pointed

"Oh great! It's gonna be that movie all over again" Cartman fussed

The boys walked over to the café when they spotted something, an antique store where someone's house used to be, also figuring out the café was at someone else's residence in the past.

"Dude, check it out!" Kenny muffled

"An antique store?" Cartman asked. A bunch of "old" things were in the store

There was a laptop from 2005, a TV from 2015, an IPhone, an Xbox one, a Wii u and a picture of the Washington redskins.

"Why is there a TV in there? Do we have hologram screens now?" Cartman asked.

"Hey look at this!" Stan said, they made it over to a TV Store, the TVs were not hologram screens, but instead were transparent TVs with only an outline.

"You are now watching the Canadian Channel, the only channel in Canada" the announcer on TV said.

"We now return to… inventors of Canada. Starring… Ike broflovski! The Thomas Edison of the 21st Century!" the announcer said.

"Ike?" Kyle said in shock.

"He invented the fool-proof bike chains, the motorboard, the remote control saucer, gaming nervous system and an Aeromobile Company!" the announcer carried on.

"Aeromobile?" Kyle asked, wondering what a Aeromobile was, he suddenly heard a jet noise and looked around, to see a Car that was floating down towards the road, the car accidentally hit the car behind and made a rough drop. Mayor McDaniels got out of the car, at least they thought it was Mayor McDaniels which it was because she looked just like what she did 30 years ago only she had wrinkles now.

"A flying car, never thought I'd see the day, right Kyle?" Cartman asked. Kyle fainted.

"Kyle?" Cartman furthered.


	7. Meet Cartman's wife and kids!

Kyle woke up.

"Where am I?" he asked himself.

"Kyle, wake up! You've been out for nearly 5 minutes!" Cartman complained.

"Oh thank god, it was all just a dream" Kyle said.

"No it wasn't, you're still in the future" Cartman said.

"There you are! I've been looking everywhere for you!" a familiar voice said. It was Future Cartman.

"Come on! We've gotta go back to the past and put you where you belong!" Future Cartman commanded.

"No way dude! This is the Freakin Future we're in, I kinda wanna explore this place a bit" Stan demanded.

"You already explored! Now grab on to something so you can go back to your original year!" Future Cartman commanded.

"Dude, for the last time, no!" Kyle commanded back.

"Argh! Fine!" Future Cartman said. the boys were surprised.

"Uh… Okay… Dude why are letting us go now?" Cartman asked.

"Oh nothing, I just can't be arsed have a big long argument just so I can torture myself by not letting myself see the transition from 2015 to 2045, yada yada yada" Cartman said.

"Well-whoa… what?" Cartman babbled.

"Well, if I let past self see the future, my brain's gonna compulsively release some endorphins and make me happy. I see nothing wrong with telling people about things and makin' a few bucks on the side" Future Cartman admitted.

"Besides, the batteries on this are flat, it's gonna take days until it completely recharges" Future Cartman.

After few minutes… the boys were in different clothing… they were in 2040s versions of their normal clothing.

"Okay, Stan, you're Matt. Kyle, you're Michael. Kenny, you're Clint, and Me, you are Klarkman" Future Cartman said.

* * *

><p>The boys arrived at Cartman residence.<p>

"Well, this is my house" Future Cartman said.

"You still live here?" Kyle asked.

"Yeah, but before you say anything, I put my mom in a retirement home, just like where all the other adults are, except for Stan and Kyle's parents who still live next door to me" Future Cartman admitted.

"Heh, it must be a lot cheaper to take mom's house instead of buying another" Cartman said.

Future Cartman opened the door and walked into his house, not much had changed, and the picture of Cartman with his mom at Mt Rushmore was still there. A black haired woman wearing a green shirt with a greenish grey vest over it and black pants was sitting on the sofa. Future Cartman stopped.

"What?" he asked

"Eric, can you explain this?" she snapped, pulling out a full plastic milk bottle.

"What? It's a transparent milk bottle" Future Cartman said.

"You know how I feel about you shop phasing Eric!" the woman said.

"Relax! It's not like the police are gonna come after me, they're too stupid to" Future Cartman said.

"And who are these kids behind you?" she asked.

"Uh… these are orphans I found that I decided to take in because they look so much like me" Future Cartman explained.

"…That's not like you, usually you just ignore people" the woman said.

"Yeah, but they used the four times plea on me" Future Cartman said.

"Hey, me! Who the hell is this?" Cartman whispered to his future self.

"That's your wife, Heidi Turner. Y'know, that gal who saved you from tipping the food table at your mom and step-dad's wedding?" Future Cartman whispered.

"Oh weak!" Cartman moaned.

"Uh yes, this is Matt, Michael, Adolf Klarkman, and Clint" Future Cartman said

"Alright, well I'm not finding a place for them to sleep" Heidi said

"Hey dad, what's going on down there?" a young voice said.

"Hey kids, I just took in some orphans! One of them looks like me!" Future Cartman said

Footsteps were heard and a 10-year old boy hurried downstairs, he had blackish brown hair, he wore a dark-grey shirt and had black jeans. Another kid came down, it was a girl who was very slightly taller than the boy and wore a blue skirt and light-grey shirt with a blue vest, and her hair was the same color as Cartman's.

"Adolf, this is my son Travis and my daughter is Jesse, she's 11" Future Cartman said.

"Eric, is the name "Adolf" even allowed to be used as a name?" Heidi asked

"Don't ask me, I'm not the one who named him"


	8. Staying there a while

As the boys were at the Cartman residence, Future Cartman took the specially designed batteries and put them in a charger. Cartman was hanging out with his future son Travis.

"So this is my room" Travis said, entering his room which used to be his father's room. Travis had the same voice as Stan, only just a little lower than Stan's.

The room was different, the bed had wooden walls on the sides of the bed and the drawers had curves in between the overhangs and the walls of them, and the wall was painted blue.

"Wow, you cleaned this place up" Cartman complimented; there was a Terrance and Philip Poster on Travis' door. Terrance and Philip had long hair; Terrance had one side of long hair.

"Hey, what's with the Terrance and Philip Poster?" Cartman asked.

"What do you mean dude? I don't see anything wrong" Travis said.

"How come they don't have puffs of hair?" Cartman asked.

"Well… What you mean like Terrance and Philip Sr? Dude, quit living in the past! This is Terrance and Philip Jr!" Travis said.

"Oh" Cartman said, realizing that those must have been Terrance and Philip's Children.

"So do you have a computer?" Cartman asked.

"Dude, who doesn't? Oh wait a minute, only poor people who have those heavy black ones that only run at 60 fps" Travis said.

"Hey! The orphanage has those!" Cartman said, feeling insulted by his son's remarks.

"Well aren't you glad you live with the Cartmans? Come on! I'll show how this baby works!" Travis hopped on his computer chair and turned on the Computer, the computer showed its company logo and immediately turned on; Travis clicked on Internet and went to Google, which still existed.

"Google still exists?" Cartman asked.

"I know right? It's existed for 47 years and it's not gonna stop, it's gonna be the best search engine there is, I mean sure, it might have bought YouTube in 2013 and apparently wrecked it" Travis furthered.

"Yeah whatever, Can I type something?" Cartman asked.

"Okay" Travis said.

Cartman typed in Technology, results were coming up before Cartman even finished typing.

"Gee, they really sped up the loading process" Cartman said

"What are you talking about? It's always been really fast!" Travis corrected

"Not as fast as it was 30 years ago" Cartman said. Travis just stared at him in confusion.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, the boys were watching TV; the TV was see-through and had a black rim on it. Kyle turned it on; the first thing to come up was T&amp;P.<p>

"Say Philip! We're right beside a tunnel!" Terrance Jr went up to the tunnel and farted on it, causing it to echo down the tunnel. Stan and Kyle were laughing their asses off.

"Aw dude! Terrance and Philip still rock!" Stan exclaimed

* * *

><p>Kenny was sitting down at the table with Jesse, reading a playboy; he looked up and saw Jesse reading "World's hottest men" Jesse looked up at Kenny.<p>

"Mph mph mph mph mph mph?" Kenny asked.

"What?" Jesse asked.


	9. Butters' boy

The South Park Bus stop, the boys and Travis Cartman and Jesse Cartman were there.

"Wow, you guys, this place hasn't changed a bit!" Stan whispered to the others, the only change was that the bus stop sign was very slightly damaged, and there was a radio tower on the mountains in the back.

"So Travis, do you have friends in skewl?" Cartman asked.

"Well, yeah but they can't come to the same bus stop as me, so it's just me and Jesse" Travis said.

"Hey, here comes the bus!" Jesse said.

The bus resembled a normal 2015 yellow school bus, the boys and Girl got on the bus, Travis sat down next to a boy who looked EXACTLY like Butters except for pockets in his shirt

"Oh hey Travis, I heard your dad brought in some orphans yesterday!" the kid said, he also sounded EXACTLY like Butters as well.

"Uh yeah, they're right over there dude!" Travis said, pointing his thumb at the boys.

"Wow! Orphans in South Park who aren't British!" the boy said.

"Uh, you guys, is it me or does that Kid over there look exactly like Butters?" Cartman questioned, slightly freaked out.

"Uh no, that guy looks exactly like Butters alright" Kyle said.

"Wow, isn't that kinda lazy?" Stan asked.

"What? What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Cartman asked.

"Oh nothing, it's just that that guy looks just like butters and that's it" Stan said.

"Oh, yeah" Cartman laughed.

The bus arrived at South Park Elementary, which pretty much looked the same only looking older as well. The children hopped out of the bus, the boys came out and so did the Future boys, the butters looking kid, Travis, a kid with a blue turtleneck that went up to his mouth and had brown hair and dark blue pants, a pale brown haired kid with curly hair and a green zip shirt and dark green trousers.

"So, what's it like not having parents?" the Butters kid asked.

"Well, it's, bad. My father died from a Car crash and my mom became an alcoholic so she abused me and the Social Services took me away, then she killed herself so I ended up in an orphanage" Cartman said.

"Well that's awful" the butters kid said.

"I didn't know my father until 5 months ago, apparently, he had relationship with my mom, but she nicely took him down after proposing to her, she moved to South Dakota and she had me" the kid said.

"Dude, do you happen to know a guy named Butters?" Stan asked.

"Butters? That's my dad!" the kid said. The boys stopped.

"But then what's your name?" Kyle asked.

"My name's Craig, but my friends just call me Stitch" Stitch said.

"Yeah, Stitch is my best friend. The doctors say that 90% of Stitch came from his father, and 10% came from his mom" Travis said.

"Looks more like 100% of him came from Butters" Cartman said.

The boys walked into the School, once again, the school looked hardly different, well, it did look a little more futuristic. The boys walked behind the Future boys, everyone was staring at the boys.

"What?" Cartman asked.

"Hey, how come everyone's wearing pants that are the same color as their shirts?" Kyle asked.

"Why aren't you wearing matching clothes?" Travis asked.

"Hey Grampa! Go back to the 20th century!" one of the kids insulted, everyone else laughed after that.

"Why didn't my future self give us matching clothes?" Cartman asked.

The boys reached the 4th grade room, they met their 4th grade teacher, he wore green and had a large bald spot, just like Mr Garrison, they then saw something else, a hand puppet that looked like… Mr Hat! The boys walked into the room.

"Morning, kids, now I'm your new 4th grade teacher, Mr Garrison" the teacher said, the boys had realised it was Mr Garrison, only there was wrinkles on his face now and his hair wasn't curly, it was flat. The boys took their seat.

"Okay, today we're going to be learning about… The American-Canadian War" Mr Garrison said

The whole class moaned.

"Hey! Herbert and I fought in that War! Have some damn respect for your Elders!" Mr Hat snapped.

"Mr Hat, you didn't do anything; you just shouted slogans at me while I was running through the battlefield" Mr Garrison corrected.

"But the American-Canadian War sucks though!" Travis complained.

"Hey! Guess what Travis? Your father was a student of mine in third grade! And fourth grade! You pay him a little respect for suffering that horrible horrible war!" Mr Garrison snapped.

"Yeah! Respect him!" Cartman joined in, everyone looked at him. Cartman sat down feeling embarrassed.

"Weirdo!" the same kid who called him Grampa said.


	10. Stitch is a badass!

Recess, the boys walked with the future boys.

"Y'know, my dad was in the Canadian American war, he was part of La resistance" Stitch said.

"Hey! My father was a test subject for an anti-swearing device!" Travis said. Cartman was annoyed.

"Anti-swearing device, my ass!" Cartman muttered under his breath.

The boys walked outside.

"Me and Mel are gonna go play on the octagon, you guys coming?" the brown curly haired kid said.

"No, we're just gonna talk to these orphans" Travis said.

"Okay" the boy and the blue clothed kid who is now called Mel walked away.

"…You know how to use computers?" Stitch asked.

"No" Cartman said, the other boys followed.

"Hey, we can show them some of the stuff in the playground" Travis suggested.

The boys went to the place where the roundabout was.

"Hop on!" Stitch said. The boys hopped on.

"What's so special about it? It's just a roundabout" Cartman said.

Stitch took what looked like a credit card and put it in a slot, the roundabout started spinning.

"What the hell? Is this thing spinning by itself?" Cartman asked.

Well, yeah, haven't you ever seen one of these?" Stitch asked.

"No, we haven't" Kyle said.

"Hey look! It's the new kids!" a voice said, three 5th graders walked towards them. One of them had a brown jacket, dark brown pants and a mullet of blonde hair. The other had a blue-black shirt and shorts with black hair.

"Ah crap!" Stitch muttered under his breath.

"You got any money?" the tallest one said. He his hair stood up and was brown, he wore a dark grey shirt and pants and a light grey vest.

"Butch, just leave them alone!" Stitch demanded, walking up to them.

"And what are you gonna do about it, wuss? You know I could kick your ass any day!" Butch threatened.

"Hardly!" Stitch said.

"Ok then, you and me, right here, right now!" Butch demanded.

"Alright then… hey wait a minute, what's that on your neck?" Stitch asked.

Butch froze for a few seconds and looked at his shoulder, Stitch suddenly punched Butch in the face and rammed the other kids.

"Dude!" Cartman exclaimed.

"Run for it dude!" the kid who called the boys Grampa said. Stitch ran inside the school, the 5th graders helped Butch up, he had bruise where Stitch hit him.

"Where did he go?!" Butch yelled in anger.

"He went in the school!" the yellow mullet kid said. The 5th graders ran inside, only to run in to the Counsellor. He wore a blue shirt and dark blue pants, he had a tie and his hair was in 6 saggy cones with ruffles.

"What did I say about running in School?" The Counsellor said, he sounded like Stan's uncle Jimbo.

"Don't run inside?" Butch said.

"Off to the principal's office for you!" Counsellor commanded.

"But we were, but no one's, but some one's-" Before Stotch could finish, Stotch butted in.

"Off to the principal's office!" Stotch commanded.

"Help! Someone's locked me in my locker!" a familiar voice said, coming from one of the lockers.

"Stitch? Is that you?!" the counsellor exclaimed. He used another card to unlock the locker, Stitch got out.

"Dad!" Stitch exclaimed.

"Oh I love ya son!" the counsellor hugged Stitch, Stitch tried to break free.

"Dad! Not in front of the new kids!" Stitch yelled.

"Sorry, sorry" the counsellor said.

"Is that?" Kyle said, pointing.

"Who, this? This is my dad; he works as the school counsellor!" Stitch said. The boys realised that it the differences for Butters now were that his hair went 2 inches above his ears rather than 8, it had some weird ruffles coming out of it and it was darker.

"Wow, you must be the orphans. Gee, you look just like some of my elementary school friends!" Butters exclaimed


	11. Randy Marsh lives here

June 18 2045 3:00 PM, school had finished.

The boys were walking out of school with the future boys.

"So that's when we discovered my Dad had a YouTube channel" Travis said. A boy wearing a black jumper with red pockets and a zip line with black pants with red stripes in certain places to make red outlines on it with eye bags and messy blonde hair ran up to them.

"Hey Travis! See you're roommates with the orphans!" the boy said, he sounded like Tweek.

"Oh hey, Hack" Travis said.

"Hey, since you read my Story, have ya thought about giving it a review yet?!" the boys asked.

"…mmMeh!" Travis said, annoying Hack.

"Okay, what about you, Narc?" Hack asked, looking at the bread-headed boy who went to play on the octagon before.

"Mmm!" Narc said.

"Mel?" Hack was desperate, Mel just mumbled something since his turtleneck covered his mouth and made him inaudible (Turtleneck was the word I was looking for when I was describing his clothing in case you missed it, it goes up to his mouth)

"Stitch, you're a cool guy! What would you say?" Hack asked.

"I don't know" Stitch mumbled half-inaudibly.

"Damnit! Why won't anybody review my story?!" Hack questioned, Cartman walked over to him.

"Get the hell outta here you!" Cartman said, shoving Hack away.

"God damnit, that guy is annoying! Thanks Klarkman!" Travis said.

"No fucking problem!" Cartman said.

* * *

><p>The boys went to the Cartman's house, they entered.<p>

"Hey kids, So Travis, how was school today?" Future Cartman asked. he was watching TV lying down on the sofa.

"That's weird, usually you ask Jesse that" Travis pointed out.

"Well, she ain't here yet" Future Cartman said.

"Well, Stitch beat up another bully" Travis said.

"Uh, good for him" Future Cartman said.

"Hey, how did you let someone lock you in your own locker when you just punched an 11 year old?" Stan asked Stitch.

"Well, I didn't, when I ran in to the school I saw my father come by so I locked myself in my locker so the guys wouldn't find me and since my Dad hates Butch just as much as I do, he abuses his authority by sending him to Principal's office to waste recess time for him, then I banged on my door hoping he would hear me so he would unlock the locker using the master school key and voila! I escape getting beat up for a while!" Stitch explained.

"Hey, that is smart!" Stan complimented the blonde, Jesse arrived home.

"Hey Jesse!" Future Cartman greeted.

"Hi dad" she said.

"Well, why don't you kids go out and have some fun? It'll boost my endorphins" Future Cartman whispered to his past self.

The kids went outside to see some people. Narc and Mel said goodbye and walked off. The boys visited the house down the road, Travis knocked on the door, an old man opened the door, he had black pants, a white shirt with a brown jacket over it, bright grey hair and he wore square glasses.

"Oh, hello boys" he said, he had a familiar deep voice.

"Uh, Mr Marsh, can we check your house for hippies?"

"Marsh?!" Stan exclaimed.

"Hippies?" Cartman exclaimed.

"Uh, how much will it cost me?" the man asked.

"About five bucks" Travis said.

"Five bucks? Jeez, okay" the old man pulled out his wallet and gave him the card.

Travis walked into the house and began tapping on the walls.

"So you're Randy Marsh?" Stan asked. the man looked surprised.

"Yeah, how did you know that?" the man asked.

"Uh, lucky guess?" Stan said. Randy sighed.

"You want an autograph?" he asked.

"Don't need one" Stan said. An old lady came in to the living room, she had light grey hair and wore a green-brown skirt and had a bright green-brown jacket, she must have been Sharon.

"Randy what's going on?" she asked.

"Oh nothing, just getting the house checked for hippies" Randy told her.

"Randy, will ya stop paying people to check our house for things?" Sharon demanded.

"What? Hippies have been known to get into people's houses" Randy corrected. A hippie suddenly burst out from the wall.

"JESUS CHRIST!" Travis yelled, he took out a fire extinguisher and the Hippie got up and ran out of the house.


	12. Kyle's father is a senile old man

"Shouldn't your house be dark green?" Stan asked. The boys were leaving.

"What the hell are talking about? My house is blue!" Randy corrected.

"Well, wasn't it dark green in the past?" Stan asked again. Randy was surprised.

"How do you know about that?!" Randy asked.

"Well, that guy that lives down the street said you had a dark green house!" Stan lied.

"Oh yeah, that guy has lived there his whole life. He used to be friends with my kid until he moved out and married his girlfriend" Randy scoffed lightly.

"Do you have a picture of them?" Stan asked. Randy was starting to get annoyed.

"I don't know why you want a picture, but here's him on his wedding day" Randy sighed, pulling out a picture. The picture showed Stan and a woman that looked like Wendy, Stan had a mustache that looked similar to his father's only with a gap in the middle and his hair looked the same only smoother, Wendy looked pretty much the same and had a ring of flowers over her head.

"Hey Matt! Come on! We've finished scanning the house!" Cartman informed.

"Oh, are there any Hippies?" Randy asked. Cartman was pulling Stan outside while the picture was still in his hand.

"Yes sir, there are fifty-two Hippies in your basement, you got a major infestation" Travis informed. Stan attempted to put the picture on the desk beside the door, the door shut and the picture fell off and smashed on the floor.

"Aww crap!" Randy moaned. He attempted to pick up the picture, but his back cracked.

"Sharon! Get the back puncher!" Randy exclaimed.

* * *

><p>The boys went to the pale green house next Cartman's house.<p>

"This is the broflovski home, I gotta warn you though, the guy who lives in here is a little… bonkers" Stitch warned.

"My dad lives here?" Kyle blurted out, realising he made a mistake.

"Yeah your dad lives here-wait what?" Stitch asked, confused.

"Nothing, nothing!" Kyle corrected himself.

Travis knocked on the door, a man opened the door, he had high up dark green pants, a brown jacket and he had a thick C of grey hair.

"Yes?" the man asked.

"Sir, would you like to have your house scanned for hippies?" Travis asked.

"I don't have any chips lyin' around!" The man exclaimed. he had a voice like Kyle's, assuming it was Gerald.

"No, I said Hippies!" Travis said, putting emphasis on the H.

"Oh, how much will this cost me?" he asked.

"About five bucks" Travis said.

"Nine bucks?! Get outta here!" the man snapped.

"Mr Broflovski… I said five bucks" Travis corrected.

"Oh, okay" Gerald agreed. The boys went in, Kyle had a long look at his father, he had aged terribly.

"Hey where's your wife?" Kyle asked, hoping that his mother wasn't already dead.

"Wife? Whaddya mean wife?" Gerald asked confused.

"Your wife? Don't you have one?" Kyle asked.

"No! She divorced me 26 years ago!" Gerald exclaimed. Kyle was shocked.

"What, why?" Kyle asked.

"Well, if I remember correctly, she divorced me because of her selfish ways that _I _pointed out and the fact that she abused the kids. Also I said that sometimes, I wish she was just a little more attractive" Gerald exclaimed.

"…I thought you liked fat women" Kyle said.

"How do you know that?" Gerald asked.

"Well nothing, that fat guy next door told me about you" Kyle lied.

"Oh yeah, that guy went to school with my kid" Gerald said.

"And your adopted son" Kyle pointed out. Gerald looked surprised.

"What? I have an adopted son?!" Gerald exclaimed.

"Yeah, his name's Ike broflovski" Kyle said.

"Ike Broflovski? That guy who invented a bunch of stuff?!" Gerald asked.

"Uh, Yeah I'm pretty sure" Kyle answered. Gerald gasped, and fainted.

"Good news! You're clean dude-what the?!" Travis exclaimed.

"I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! I SWEAR!" Kyle yelled.

"Calm down! I know how to do CPR!" Stitch said, he ran up to Gerald.

"What the hell is CPR?" Travis asked. Stitch began performing mouth-to-mouth.

"Aw-Dude-What the hell-Gross-Weak!" The boys all exclaimed.

Gerald spluttered, he got up.

"Dah! What the?!" Gerald exclaimed.

"Dude are you okay?!" Kyle asked. The man looked annoyed.

"You kids get off my property!" Gerald threatened, the future boys ran out, so the present boys followed.


	13. The McCormick Family, no surprise

Several Houses later, the boys made it to a really run down green house, they knocked on the door.

"This is where Mel lives" Stitch informed. An old man opened the door; he had a blue button up shirt, a white singlet underneath, white hair with bald spots, and dark blue overalls.

"What do want?" The man asked.

"Would you like to have your house scanned for hippies? It'll cost you five bucks" Travis said, prepared for him to ask that.

"Here" the old man handed them a five dollar note.

Travis took the note and began searching, Kenny had looked around and Mel came up to him.

"Hey Clint!" Mel mumbled into his blue turtleneck.

"Hey Mel" Kenny mumbled into his orange parka.

"You should meet my brothers and sisters" Mel said, he took Kenny to a door and opened it. Never had Kenny seen so many children, there were 26 of them. Mel wasn't going to name them all.

"Dude, who cares for these guys?" Kenny asked.

"My mom, Karen McCormick" Mel answered, thinking Kenny might have been asking for the name since it would've been pretty obvious who takes care of them.

"Karen?!" Kenny was pretty shocked, the sister he had been taking care of since she was two turned out to be a whore just like any other McCormick, although it was no huge surprise due to his family's philosophy.

"Hey dad, some kids are in my room!" a voice said, it sounded like Kenny's father, Kenny looked at him. The man had orange pants, an orange parka that was not tucked over his head, okay, it's pretty obvious who this guy is, and his blonde hair was strung up with floppy spikes (kinda like adult Bart Simpson).

"Yeah, we're just getting a Hippie scan" The old man explained. Kenny was pretty shocked; he looked at his future self in the eyes.

"Kenny! There's no milk in the fridge!" A rough female voice shouted.

"My car ran out of gas on the way to the farm, mom!" Future Kenny shouted back.

"Well maybe you shoulda' thought of that before you passed the gas station!" Future Kenny's mom shouted. Future Kenny moaned.

"Screw you guys, I'm going to Skeeter's" Future Kenny said before leaving the house.

"Okay, we're done" Travis said.

"So did ya find any Hippies?" Future Kenny's dad asked.

"No… but we did find something worse" Travis said.

"Uh oh, what?" Future Kenny's dad asked.

"We found Meth heads in your garage, but they say that they're no longer needed here" Travis informed.

"Oh, I guess that means Tweek's coffee got shut down" Future Kenny's dad suggested.

**Sorry this chapter was short, I was low on ideas**


	14. Elders & Cartman confesses to Butters

"Well that's every resident in this street, and we made 118 bucks" Stitch assured.

Kyle thought for a few seconds and came up with an Idea.

"Hey do you think we could try scanning the retirement home?" Kyle suggested, hoping to see more of the now old folk.

"…I, guess we could give it a shot" Travis was dumbfounded by Kyle's suggestion.

* * *

><p>The boys had made it to Shady acres retirement home. Travis knocked on the door. A nurse had opened the door.<p>

"Yes?" she asked.

"Hi mam, we run a hippie-b-gone company, can we check this retirement home for hippies?" Travis asked.

"How much would it cost?" the nurse asked.

"Well, normally it would cost like, 5 bucks, but for this it's gonna cost ya 15… I mean there's no way I'm searching an entire building just for 5 bucks" Travis informed.

"Well, hippies do release second hand smoke and it's killing the old people" the nurse agreed and gave Travis 15 bucks.

Travis and Stitch began searching the retirement home, the boys walked into the sitting room.

A lady in the same clothes as Cartman's mom with grey hair and makeup with glasses was sitting next to a man with a brown vest and blue pants with grey hair and also glasses.

Stan looked around and saw a very familiar looking man reading the newspaper, he looked about 80, he had glasses that rimmed his eyes, and his entire body resembled a wrapped lollipop.

"Oh look it's my nurse! Have you got my pills?" the man said in a recognizable deep voice.

"Mr Mackey?" Stan asked in utter surprise, Mr Mackey was now 78.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile at Skeeters…<p>

"Give me some tall Schlitz please" Future Cartman requested, the bartender gave him schiltz, Future Cartman automatically paid for the beer, and he went down to sit by Future Butters.

"Hey Eric" Future Butters greeted.

"Hey Butters. Hey, can you keep a secret?" Cartman asked.

"Well sure" Butters answered, he began drinking a beer.

"Well, Butters. I don't know how to you this without you freaking out but… I might have brought my past self to the present" Cartman said, Butters spat out his drink.

"YOU WHA?!" Butters yelled, everyone stared at the two.

"What the hell are you looking at?" Cartman said, trying to lose the attention, everyone went back to drinking.

"Eric! Does your wife know about this?" Butters said in a quieter tone.

"No, and I may have also brought back Kenny, Stan and Kyle" Cartman furthered.

"Oh god Kenny! Wait a minute, who's Stan and Kyle?" Butters questioned.

"Stan and Kyle, y'know, those guys that I used to be friends with back in high school?" Cartman said, trying to get butters to remember them.

"Oh yeah, now I remember… jeesh, you guys were assholes back in Elementary school" Butters said.

"It's funny that you say that, our fourth grade selves have been brought to the present" Cartman said to be precise.

"Why the hell did you bring them here?" Butters asked.

"I didn't do it on purpose, I just broke my hip during an encounter with them and Kyle decided to apologize to me for making me break my leg, although it was really my fault. After telling them I was from the future, they grabbed on to me even though I said not to and they got lost" Cartman explained.

"Oh I see, so I guess you have one of those Yankee metal bones" Butters asked.

"Yeah, pretty much" Cartman answered.


	15. Kenny confesses & Cartman gets intimate

June 18 2045 8:00 PM, The boys came home from the hippie business, having gained over $200. When arrived at the doorstep, Travis started splitting the money. Each kid got 39 bucks and 50 cents.

Travis walked into the house, his father and mother was in bed. The boys walked upstairs to Travis' room where they were staying. They were all pretty tired

"You guys, I need to confess something" Kenny mumbled.

"Sure what is Kenny?" Cartman asked.

"Cartman, I think I like your daughter" Kenny confessed, the boys were shocked, especially Cartman.

"WHAAAAT?!" Cartman exclaimed.

"Dude, what's the problem? I'm kule if he likes my sister… Maybe you're just jealous!" Travis accused Cartman.

"Dude I am not… wait a minute, did you just say kule?" Cartman asked.

"Oh yeah, is there a problem with how I say 'kule'?" Travis asked.

"Who says that?" Kyle asked.

"Nobody, just me and my father" Travis answered.

"Doesn't he say 'Kewl'?" Cartman asked.

"Well, yes, but you get the idea, I just prefer to say kule" Travis explained. Cartman realized that 'kule' must have been an evolution of 'Kewl'. They went back to the Kenny Jesse thing.

"Dude, Kenny! You can't be in love with someone in the future" Kyle whispered to Kenny.

"Why the fuck not?" Kenny asked.

"Kenny, in the year 2045, you are grown man, and now you want to… y'know" Stan explained.

"Dude, I'm younger than her right now, this is different!" Kenny snapped.

"I-I'm not gonna argue right now" Kyle said.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, Future Cartman and Future Heidi were in bed watching a documentary on World War II on TV.<p>

"My god that's terrible, I didn't know the Jews thought that the gas chamber was a shower" Heidi confessed.

"Yeah, also Hitler actually put 29,998 Jews on the holocaust train" Cartman said.

"Really? What happened to the other 2 Jews that didn't get on?" Heidi asked.

"Well, they were chicks and they reluctantly agreed to provide some service to Hitler" Cartman furthered.

"What kind of service?" Heidi asked.

"Well, instead of telling you, maybe we could re-enact it? I can have one person to do it" Cartman said, dropping his eyelids.

"Oh" Heidi realized what was going on.

"Okay, I'll be Hitler, you can be the Jew" Cartman requested.

Future Cartman got out of bed and looked in his Old Clothing wardrobe for an old Hitler suit he had from 2028 and threw an old-fashioned female outfit to Heidi that came from the same date, Cartman walked outside the bedroom waiting for Heidi to get changed.

"Hey, did you guys hear that? My dad's gonna do something crazy again" Travis said, none of the boys were asleep; they were just staring into the ceiling.

"Your dad does something crazy if he gets up?" Cartman asked.

"Yeah" Travis and the boys opened the door to their room; Future Cartman was right outside the door.

"Aye! What are you kids doing up? Go back to sleep!" Future Cartman commanded.

"Dad? Are you in a Hitler costume?" Travis asked.

"Do you mind? I'm roleplaying with your mom!" Future Cartman asked.

Travis shut the door, but opened it again a little.

"Okay, I'm ready!" Heidi shouted down to Future Cartman.

Future Cartman walked down to the door and opened it.

"Oh god, Hitler please don't make me go on that train, I'll do anything" Heidi said.

"Listen lady! There's only one way you're not getting on that train!" Future Cartman said in a German accent, he unbuttoned his shirt, Cartman and Heidi shut the door.

Travis shut the door, they went back to bed.

Future Cartman and Heidi started to make awful noises

"Aw dude, that is so disturbing" Cartman said, it was odd hearing himself make those strange noises.


	16. Cartman confesses to Heidi

July 19 2045 7:50 AM, The kids just got out of bed and were walking down the stairs, Future Cartman was reading the newspaper and Heidi was eating breakfast.

"Eric, about last night, did 2 Jews really have sex with Hitler in order to not go on the train or did you just make a white lie?" Heidi asked.

"Uh, No, there really were 2 Jew chicks that had it with Hitler. Look it up!" Future Cartman informed.

"Hey dad" Travis said, getting his breakfast.

"Oh hey Travis" Future Cartman greeted, the other boys began making their breakfast.

"Dad! There's no cereal anymore!" Travis pointed out.

"Your point is?" Future Cartman asked.

"We can't keep these orphans here forever!" Travis said.

"We're not gonna keep them forever!" Future Cartman corrected.

"He's right Eric, these 4 kids have been using a lot of our resources" Heidi informed. Future Cartman sighed.

"Heidi, can I talk to you upstairs for a minute?" Future Cartman asked. The two of them went upstairs. The boys were in silence.

"You did what?!" Heidi's muffled voice was heard, the camera shows Cartman and Heidi.

"Look, I didn't mean to, they grabbed on to my legs!" Cartman argued.

"Why did you tell him that you were his future-self?" Heidi asked.

"The guys put me in an awkward conversation, I got hit by a car too" Cartman said. Heidi sighed

"Alright, I'll let this one pass as it has done no damage yet and it was an accident" Heidi said, Cartman hugged her.

"Oh thank you Heidi! You're the best!" Cartman said.

"What the hell's going on up there?" Travis asked the other boys.

"I don't know, maybe they're fighting over who had the last piece of the pie" Cartman suggested, expecting it to make no sense.

"Oh yeah, probably" Travis agreed, Cartman jumped his eyebrows.

**This was really short, sorry about that :(**


	17. Cartman's job and his son's inheritance

"Okay kids, today's Sunday, which means a couple of days off" Future Cartman informed the other kids.

"Sunday?" Cartman exclaimed.

"But we went to school yesterday which was a Saturday, so we missed a day of the weekend!" Stan exclaimed.

"Relax! We had to do this 7 day school test thingy and some teenager tried to rob the air force and span outta control and crashed into the school so we had a day off. It had to be 7 days so we shifted the final exam to Saturday and made Monday a weekend" Future Cartman reassured.

"Phew, thank god!" Cartman exclaimed.

"However, the same kinda thing happened for me at the Aeromobil Mechanics & Parts Factory with an outta control missile, so it took 2 days to rebuild the place and now I gotta go to work" Future Cartman said.

"You work at an Aeromobil factory?" Cartman asked. Future Cartman's ego rose.

"Yeah, and it repairs cars as well" Future Cartman added.

"You kids wanna see a flying car factory?" Future Cartman asked.

"Wait a minute! Dad, you've never taken us to the car factory!" Travis pointed.

"You'll go there next week on a field trip!" Future Cartman explained.

"…But daaad!" Travis pleaded.

"Aww, isn't that cute?" Cartman thought to himself.

"No Travis, you're not coming" Future Cartman replied.

"But daaad, if we go to don't go to the factory before everybody else, nobody will think we're kule!" Travis pleaded again.

"Alright fine! You can come with us!" Future Cartman agreed.

July 19 2045 7:52 AM.

The Cartman's car had pulled up into the parking lot of the factory, which was a Volkswagen beetle 2004.

"Okay kids, this is the factory, now, no funny business, especially you Kyle, I mean Michael" Future Cartman warned.

Future Cartman opened the doors and walked in to the factory, it looked like a normal car factory.

"Hey Eric!" A Canadian man with a deep scratchy voice wearing a white-blue t-shirt and black grey pants walked up to Future Cartman.

"Oh hey Jerry" Cartman acknowledged.

"You're here early, what's the occasion?" Jerry asked.

"Who's this?" Cartman asked.

"He's a guy I made friends with back in our 20s when I became a policeman" Future Cartman whispered. Cartman was amazed.

"You guys! Guess what?!" Cartman asked the other boys as he huddled them together.

"What is it fatass?" Kyle asked, trying to escape his grip.

"I'm a retired policeman!" Cartman whispered.

"No way" Kyle denied.

"Yes way, I have no idea why I quit!" Cartman said.

"So did you bring your children?" Future Cartman asked Jerry.

"Eric, we already discussed about this!" Jerry said.

"I don't have children!" Jerry informed.

"Right, right. Go back and do your thing!" Future Cartman said, Jerry went off to the water cooler, work hadn't really started yet.

"Future me, why did you quit the job of policeman?" Cartman asked his future self.

"Sigh, look Eric, I quit because most of the officers were embarrassments to the country" Future Cartman admitted.

"Oh" Cartman realized what went on, the other boys didn't.

"Why- what happened?" Stan asked.

"People were shooting dicks!" Cartman whispered, clearing up for them.

They went into Cartman's work spot in the factory; it looked appeared that Cartman was a mechanic.

"Dude, you work on people's car engines?" Cartman asked his future self.

"Yep!" his future self replied. Suddenly, a shutter opened. A car drove into place, Randy Marsh drove in with a 2016 micro car.

"Um excuse me, sir! I'd like to have my fuel checked, I can see trials of fluid coming from my car on the road and I think I have a hole" Randy informed.

"Yeah yeah yeah, drive your car onto the lift and I'll see what I can do" Future Cartman ordered. Randy got inside his micro car and looked at his mirror. His eyes widened on the mirror and he yelled something in the car, he hopped out, suddenly, a 2031 entry level luxury car smashed into Randy's luxury car. The window came down and Kyle's dad popped his head out.

"This isn't my house" he said, Kyle pinched his nose in agitation of his father's future stupidity.


	18. Cartman's criminal past, or future

July 19 2045 8:01 AM

Future Cartman and the boys walked into his office, it wasn't very flash.

"Woah!" Cartman exclaimed.

"Yeah, it's not very bright" Future Cartman responded. Future Cartman sat down at his desk on his laptop. Cartman found a sandwich of papers.

"What hell are these?" Cartman asked.

"They're newspapers, you should read them, I started collecting them in 2012, they'll give a little better understanding of what the children of today are like" Future Cartman said. The boys looked at Cartman

"Dude, you collect newspapers?" Stan asked.

"It's a hobby, alright!" Cartman responded, he began taking the newspapers.

"They go all the way from 1867!" Future Cartman added.

"Let's see… Flying cars arrive, Grandpas drive the 'screaming man' to retire youtube, ISIS feeds child to mother without her knowing, ISIS is conquered, Barbara Streisand turns into a giant ass robot dinosaur in South Park, Man lands on Mars and dies, Terrance and Phillip's children, Terrance and Phillip's children takeover, Cartman Bra retires, Gangsters accidentally recreate a scene out of 'back to the future', wait what?" Cartman looks at the last newspaper, It shows a 3500 van filled with manure and manure flooding out the back of it, and the photo credit going to Randy Marsh underneath. Kyle took the newspaper.

"Why do you care so much about it? Out of all the other things?" Kyle asked.

"Nothing, it's just that, that kid in the other picture with the rest of the gangsters looked kinda familiar" Cartman pointed to a fat kid, indeed he looked familiar.

"Maybe it's you" Kyle suggested.

"Fuck you! That can't be me, I'm not that fat!" Cartman slashed.

"You thinner in that picture than you do now!" Kyle corrected.

"Future me, is this me?" Cartman said, holding a picture up to his future self's face. Future Cartman glanced at it.

"Yes" He answered, Cartman was the only one who was surprised, the other boys were surprised by the fact that Future Cartman would tell himself that.

"Wait, I crash into a manure truck?" Cartman asked.

"In the future, you join a gang called Internet bagel, it was run by these two handicapped guys, Nathan Tomlin and Mimsy Able. Mimsy was very very stupid and ended up crashing into Mr Kim twice, first his car, then his new city manure hauling which he runs to this very day.

"Dude, you just told yourself a disaster that he could easily stop and cause like a paradox thing!" Kyle exclaimed.

"We won't have to worry about that as long as we do the Curriculum Memory Activation" Future Cartman said.

"What-what-what now?" Cartman asked, confused.

"Nothing" Future Cartman responded.

"Hey, you know, that tall girl there, she kinda looks like…"

"Shelly?" Cartman interrupted Stan. "Yeah, she was the only female in the group, I don't know why Nathan hired her, but she did the most damage whenever we beat somebody up… and she performed the most amazing handjobs" Future Cartman blurted. The kids were disgusted.

"What's a handjob?" Stan asked.

"Uh nothing, just a kind of sex position, you'll get one in 3 years, Stan" Future Cartman said.

"Wait, so unisex prisons exist?" Kyle asked.

"Only in South Park they do, Officer Yates likes to be cruel to criminals now, he tried seeing how it would work out if they put a gang in one big cell and integrated the women in there as well, Shelly was the only female in our group and I managed to seduce her, we had a relationship for a couple of years before I found out she started cheating on me" Future Cartman admitted.

**The story isn't dead, this is a reference to another story of mine that I've been writing instead of this one.**


End file.
